Saturday, July 01, 2006

Do You Know The Way...OUT of Santa Fe?

It's very late.

I might be a little tired.

It's been a very long day.

We were in Taos this morning, where we had breakfast at El Taoseno Restaurant & Lounge. It was moderately delicious.

Jeff thought we should do something in Taos. So he asked our waitress what there was to do in Taos. She told him that we should check out the Indian Casino.

We didn't.

Instead, we drove to about 76 miles to Santa Fe.

We had heard that Santa Fe was wondrous! It was supposed to be very arty, funky, and fun.

It wasn't. At least not at first.

After checking into the Luxury Inn (which is very luxurious, fyi), we headed into town to eat and check out the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum.

I was in the driver's seat...which wasn't the best idea...because apparently I'm a bear when I'm hungry. And not the cute, cuddly Teddy Ruxpin variety. I'm more of the angry kind. Seriously. I was raging at everything. Drivers, pedestrians, one way streets. It might have been a bit of a disastrophe.

Eventually, we found parking. And food. We even went to the Georgia O'Keeffe museum...which is probably going to turn out to be our one high-class cultural moment of the entire road trip (with the exception of the International Tuba Convention).

After wandering the streets of downtown Santa Fe, Jeff and I checked out the local Target to buy new shorts (we might have ruined a couple of pairs in the Great Sand Dunes of Colorado).

At this point, it was nighttime. We were going to go take showers at the hotel, eat dinner somewhere, and then check out Santa Fe's finest gay bar...the Drama Club. We were also going to meet up with Lauren, Jeff's former coworker, at some point in the night. We were hoping to convince her to join us at the Drama Club.

I mean...who wouldn't want to hang out at a gay bar called the Drama Club?

I had done a little internet research and discovered that the Drama Club was THE place to go in Santa Fe if you were gay...and wanted to be outrageous.

Here's the thing about the Drama Club...

The Drama Club closed years ago. And nothing replaced it.

That's right.

There are no gay bars in Santa Fe, even though "they" claim that Santa Fe is 10 to 20 percent gay.

Not that we needed to go to a gay bar (Jeff and I may be gay...but we are not GIANT homos), so it was time for a little regrouping.

Luckily, Jeff and I were still in the process of getting ready at our lovely accommodations at the Luxury Inn.

We decided to find some local restaurant...that was open late...where we could meet up with Lauren for a couple of drinks...and dinner.

It turns out that Santa Fe closes at 10 pm. Just like Taos.

So we were F***ed in the A**.

I called the front desk to see if they had any thoughts on a late night eatery/pub.

Their suggestion?


So...after trading about 35 phone calls with Lauren, Jeff and I decided that we would just head into town. We were bound to find something open. Right?

After getting lost somewhere near the local Albertson's....we ended up back in historic downtown Santa Fe.

It was after 10pm.

And there was no food in sight.

Wandering ensued.

BUT...the starvation ended when we discovered Rooftop Pizza...which was open until 11 pm. And there was wine.

The pizza was delicious. And the wine made the badness go away...except for the fact that we were stuck in Santa Fe...with nothing to do but make googly eyes at our moderately attractive waiter...who informed us that most places close early...because it is practically impossible to get a full liquor license in New Mexico...unless you have 300 grand to spare.

The pizza/wine binge ended.

It was at that point that we finally met up with Lauren...on the streets of Santa Fe.

Why? Because the pub where she was hanging with her friends closed. At 11:15 pm.

It turns out that Lauren is spending six weeks in the "city," because she is enrolled in the very prestigious Bread Loaf School of English...which is a graduate program...based at Middlebury College in Vermont...but includes satellite campuses all over the country...including one in Sante Fe, New Mexico.

Lauren and her Bread Loaf friends (Taylor, Katie, and company) seemed VERY nice. They even knew my high school roommate, Joe Freeman, who graduated from the program last year.

Hi...crazy small world!

Anyway...somehow...Lauren and friends convinced us to go back to campus with them.

Campus is located at St. John's College. In the hills of Santa Fe.

Hilarity and wine consumption ensued.

And now I'm exhausted.

But happy.

Because the hills of Santa Fe are alive.

Alive with the sound of...


Crispy Chickenfun?

Juicy YumJoy?

OK. Clearly I've got to go to bed.

Night night!

(Yes...older sister Ru and the folks at Bread Loaf...I'm well aware of the fact that there are a thousand grammatical errors in this posting...including my abuse of ellipses...but it's late. I'm tired. And I'm stuck in Santa Fe. I'll try to fix them tomorrow. Maybe.)


Rachel said...

"Joe Freeman, that graduated..."???? Oh Jonathan, the grammar police are SO disappointed in you!

Rachel said...

No Georgia O'Keefe vagina jokes for your lesbian audience? We get thousands of phallic jokes, but no vagina references? Are you scared of the vajayjay, Jonathan and Jeff????

Zak said...

You aren't giant homos? C'mon!