Saturday, July 01, 2006

Seriously Dude...Do you know the way OUT of Santa Fe?

The plan for this morning was: get up, have continental breakfast downstairs in the lobby of the Luxury Inn, get dressed, blog a little, and get the heck out of Santa Fe.

Did that happen?

Of course not.

Instead, I awoke at 9:30 am and called the front desk to make sure that they would be serving breakfast until 10 am...like a normal hotel.

I was told that breakfast was over at 9 am, but the verynice front desk clerk informed me that he would save me a muffin.

So I went downstairs and got a couple of blueberry muffins.

Jeff and I both knew that the muffins wouldn't be enough to sustain us until Roswell, so we decided to find somewhere we could eat breakfast and blog.

While Jeff was in the shower, I searched the internet for coffee houses that were on the way out of town. I found one called "Hava Java." It sounded perfect. It was right down the street from the College of Santa Fe, so it probably was a hipster coffee house that served vegan scones...or something.

I called the "Hava Java" to double check their internet capabilities. A boy answered the phone. I asked the Hava Java barista boy if their establishment had wireless internet.

His response was something like, "Well...only the third Wednesday of every other month...when my grandmother's left tit is working properly."

"Is today one of those days," I asked.

His response?

"Let me go get grandma. I think she's on the toilet."

It was at this point I heard grunting.

"Grandma," I asked, "Is that you? Is your internet working today?"

There was no audible response...except for more grunting.

I hung up.

Unforunately, Jeff had already emerged from the bathroom, heard the whole fiasco, and declared that we absolutely HAD to go to the "Hava Java."

So we went.

And...well...it turns out that "Hava Java" isn't so much a coffee house...



...as it is a coffee stand in the middle of a grocery store parking lot.


I f*cking hate Santa Fe.

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