Day Six: Taos, NM to Santa Fe, NM

Mile 1482.7 -- Jon loses the keys to the Turquoise Bullet immediately after unlocking the door. (Hi, they're in the door still.)

Mile 1482.75 -- We're in traffic. In Taos.

Mile 1486.1 -- Jon discovers Great Sand Dune deposits in his gum--the was still in the wrapper.

Mile 1488.4 -- 63 Miles to Santa Fe!

Mile 1512.8 -- Caution: Mountain Poop ahead.




Mile 1519.2 -- Attack of the Tumbleweeds. Hi, one almost hit the Turquoise Bullet.

Mile 1523.2 -- Jon's going to Comedy Jail. I don't think I have to tell you why:


Mile 1528.7 They have a Water Store here. Because that's what you need.

Mile 1529.6 -- We see Osama Bin Laden coming out of the Oasis Cyber Cafe. We don't stop.

Mile 1535.3 -- Jon talks about sex, baby.

Mile 1540.3 -- We can't spell anything around here.


Mile 1548.7 -- As we approach Santa Fe, it begins to rain. Of course it does.

Mile 1551.9 -- We accidentally get off the freeway. Somewhere.

Mile 1552.6 -- Back on track!

Mile 1555.2 -- Our first gay sighting!


Mile 1557.9 - Luxury Inn in Santa Fe!!!

Sand in Our VaJayJays

Greetings from Taos, New Mexico! Someone at my office described Taos as being "New Agey, with a hint of Musical Theater." I'd be more likely to describe it as "closed" due to the fact that when we got here last night at 9PM, everything except the Sonic Burger was pretty much done for the night...even the Chow Cart!

Yesterday we made the long 350+ mile trip from Denver after eating breakfast with Aunt Susie. After being in the car for a long, long while, Jon and I began to starve to death. Again. As Jon pointed out to me last night, as soon as we start talking about food, we should stop. But we didn't. Instead we kept driving. And driving. Six hours after breakfast, we still hadn't eaten a real meal. We stopped in South Park and bought some Fiddle Faddle, but after losing most of it to Jon's crotch (giving their slogan "Grab a Handful of Fun" a whole new meaning) we began the long, slow descent into dementia.

We hit the Alligator farm just to spite Cowboy Wes, and had to stop ourselves from eating the reptiles, who were busy trying to eat us. Eventually, we found our way to the Lounge restaurant/gift shop right by the Great Sand Dunes in Colorado.

Bumbie's Mom! WAHHHH!!

Afterwards, we explored the Great Sand Dunes! Apparently, wind carries dust and sand here...and just leaves it, giving it the appearance of a gigantic, hilly beach with no water...which, I suppose, is essentially a desert.

Sandylicious AND Hillylicious!

As we were entering the Dune area, we saw a small child place a sled by a dumpster as he and his family went back to their car. Obviously, with no other choice, Jon picked it up so he could slide down some of the sandy hills...and, since I had a camera, I wasn't going to stop him. Once we went up a few steep hills (my fattiness, combined with the thin air at that altitude made for a slower journey than Jon would have liked, I'm sure...) Jon tried to slide down, using the sled...

Sledjoy!

DunesBuried!

Sandyhead!

...which was about as effective as naming your restaurant "Grimo's." The ensuing hilarity is captured on video and will be posted as soon as humanly possible. While there wasn't really much to do at the Dunes, other than climb hills and pass out, the photos were pretty incredible.

JonJoy and JeffTired

Hi, there's nothing here.

Dunesbits!

YumShadows!

Afterwards, Jon and I made it to Taos and passed out after the people in the room downstairs banged on the ceiling. Apparently, we were making too much noise as we tried to blog the night away.

StupidTaos. Now, we're off to Santa Fe, where more hilarity promises to ensue. Also, I promise my next entry won't be so boring. Go read Jon's if you want something funny.

Dead By Morning: A Photo Essay

Sorry there isn't a bigger post tonight. . .but Jon and I got lost in the desert, and are presumed dead.

SadHelpUsSad

...or we're in Taos, NM and we'll post tomorrow.

Only time will tell!

Best. Dogbreath. Ever.

Over the past few days, Jon and I have reported on many important events surrounding the animals at Aunt Susie's house. (Not us, you fools. Their pets!)

But none of those can possibly prepare you for this. Carjoy's cameras were lucky enough to catch Aunt Susie perfoming a nightly ritual with her dog, Ki.

Carjoy Pictures is proud to present "Brushy Brushy" starring Aunt Susie as herself, and Ki as "The Dog."



Thanks to Aunt Susie for letting us post this! And thanks to Uncle Larry, Hannah and Carrie for helping us trick Aunt Susie into letting us take video of it in the first place.

And thanks to the entire Robbins family for welcoming me into their home, and treating me like family.

Day Five : Denver, CO to Taos, NM

Mile 1104.8 -- Bye Denver! Bye Aunt Susan! Bye Uncle Larry! Bye Cousin Carrie! Bye Cousin Hannah! Bye Albert! Bye Jinx! Bye Ki!



Thanks again for everything!

Mile 1106.3 -- Gas Station Stop. Gas is only $2.879 here. Hi...somehow that is cheap.

Mile 1108.8 -- We drive by "Most Precious Blood Catholic Church." We don't stop.

Mile 1127.5 -- Jon totally misses taking the picture of the "Tiny Town" sign. It was VERY small!

Mile 1134.0 -- Syphie enjoys the gorgeous view of the Rockies.



Mile 1135.5 -- What exactly is "Loaf-N-Jug?"



And why aren't we stopping?

Mile 1135.6 -- Boo! Road Work again!

Mile 1137.8 -- We're F-ed! The road we need to be on is closed and now we are on a detour. Ugh.

Mile 1138.6 -- Yay! Back on Track...except that the right lane is closed. Again.

Mile 1147.7 -- Why is there a stoplight in the middle of the highway? Clearly...we are taking the "scenic" route.

Mile 1159.9 -- Is that Jesus...up there on that hill?



No! It's Santa Maria!

Mile 1166.2 -- Ahhhh! Rain! At least Jeff's windshield wipers are working this year.

Mile 1170.8 -- Jollibee enjoys the view.



Mile 1181.6 -- We're in South Park!



There is nothing here.

Mile 1188.2 -- We spot the first two houses in South Park.

And then...more nothing.

Mile 1188.9 -- We're finally in South Park proper, yo!



Mile 1189.3 -- Potty break in South Park. Followed by Fiddle Faddle disaster.



Mile 1233.4 -- "Counting Blue Cars" plays on the iPod. Jeff points out that his car is blue. Jon dies a little...on the inside.

Mile 1233.9 -- Jeff makes a valiant attempt to pass a giant tractor-trailer. Both Jeff and Jon decide that they hate one lane highways.

Mile 1245.5 -- We pass a restaurant that advertises "very AUTHENTIC Thai Food" in Poncha Springs. We don't stop.

Mile 1245.8 -- We finally find a place that is scarier than Pork Barrel. "GRIMO'S." Jeff decides that their slogan should be: "Someone Pooped In It."

Mile 1249.7 -- We almost die. Again.

Mile 1282.2 -- Hi...we are in the middle of nowhere. And hungry. Again.

Mile 1285.2 -- Jeff reasons that we should go to Crestone to eat. Crestone is a weird hippie town Uncle Larry told us about. Hopefully, this town has hippies that eat.

Mile 1292.7 -- It's raining in Crestone...but we still haven't found food.

Mile 1293.7 -- An actual tumbleweed rolls in front of the car. Seriously. We are going to die here.

Mile 1296.3 -- We pass a sign that declares that Crestone is a "No Shooting Area." What a relief!

Mile 1297.5 -- We finally find the one restaurant in Crestone. "The Desert Sage Restaurant."



And guess what?



It's closed.

Ofcourseitis.

Mile 1297.9 -- Giving up the search in Crestone. Off to find food...in the Sand Dunes.

Mile 1307.9 -- Jon is so hungry that he has been reduced to suckling Bessie for sustenance.



Mile 1309.7 -- Back on Track. Worst. Sidetrack. Ever.

Mile 1323.9 -- We pass by a "UFO Watchtower." We don't stop.

Mile 1329.7 -- Gators!



Mile 1330.9 -- Jeff and Jon are so hungry they resort to eating Mentos Sours.

Mile 1352.2 -- Hi...this is the end. God hates the homos and so we are going to starve to death.

Mile 1352.6 -- Real food at the Great Sand Dunes Oasis!



Maybe God doesn't hate us after all.

Mile 1356.9 -- Great Sand Dune Fun!



Mile 1378.9 -- It's a rainbow!



God loves the Gays!

Mile 1382.5 -- We're in Blanca!



Paid for by Blanca Olar, Treasurer.

Mile 1387.6 -- Only 78 more miles to Taos!

Mile 1420.9 -- We're in New Mexico!



Jeff and Jon are VERY enchanted.

Mile 1439.1 -- As we drive through Qwesta, Jeff announces that he hopes we find the "Trutha" here. Jon hope to find Jeff a ball-gag-a here.

Mile 1464.9 -- We're in Historic Taos. It's very cute. And historic!

Mile 1469.1 -- We check in at Taos Budget Host Inn.



It's very fancy here.



Their toilets are sanitary for our protection!

It's International!

Today was our last full day in Denver. Sad for us, but the Robbins family pets will likely heave a collective sigh of relief. To start the day, Carrie took Jon and I for a walk. Well, I suppose technically she was taking Ki for a walk, but she probably should have kept both of us on a leash as well.

PuppyJoy!

As a reward for Ki's good behavior on the walk, we took her to the Three Dog Bakery: The Bakery for Dogs!

DoggieBee!

Ki got some yummy treats, but Jon and I were not rewarded. (Although we did sneak some peanut butter dog biscuits when we got home. They were a little dry.) After snack-time, Carrie had to rush off to a French horn lesson, so Jon and I accompanied (stalked) her to the Denver University campus. While she was in class, Jon and I dined at "Mustard's Last Stand," a hot dog joint located right smack in the middle of Comedy Jail.

HotDogShow!

They also had the best poster I have ever seen:

Elevated YumMeat!

After lunch, we wandered the campus a bit and headed back to Carrie's music building, where the International Tuba Convention was being held. Keep in mind, this isn't just your typical workaday run-of-the-mill local tuba convention. It's International!!! Six Hundred Tuba players from all across the globe all converged in one convenient location!

Blowfun!

Carrie was kind enough to show us around to the various exhibits... Some of whom had t-shirts for sale, hilariously depicting the Evolution of Man, with a representative from each stage of mankind holding a different brass instrument-eventually standing upright with a tuba! Did I mention it's an international Tuba Convention?

InternationalFunJoy!

Simply incredible. There was also a gentleman on the elevator with us standing facing the corner, blowing into a mouthpiece. (Please be aware, there was no tuba, international or otherwise, attached.) After withstanding more than our share of dirty looks from the tuba-ists (partly for taking a few photos, but mostly for not being "with the tuba.") we made a swift exit.
When we got back to Susan and Larry's place, we discovered Bessie the Cow and Syphie had been feeling neglected, and decided to wreak some havoc on their own.

BadSyphie!

UdderlySad

As you can see, while Syphie succeeded in annoying Jinx, Bessie the Cow was unceremoniously attacked. (She might have deserved it.) Once we cleaned the feathers up (again), Larry and Carrie took Jon and I to the Bodyworks 2 exhibit. (See Jon's post!). After the exhibit, the animal kingdom decided to exact their revenge on us, and Jon and I were mauled & eaten by wolves. Right outside of the Museum! Honest!!

BloodyJeffSad

JonDriver looking on in abject horror as he tries to fight Wolfburger off with his own legsad.

See you tomorrow! We're going to New Mexico!