Friday, June 30, 2006

Day Six: Taos, NM to Santa Fe, NM

Mile 1482.7 -- Jon loses the keys to the Turquoise Bullet immediately after unlocking the door. (Hi, they're in the door still.)

Mile 1482.75 -- We're in traffic. In Taos.

Mile 1486.1 -- Jon discovers Great Sand Dune deposits in his gum--the was still in the wrapper.

Mile 1488.4 -- 63 Miles to Santa Fe!

Mile 1512.8 -- Caution: Mountain Poop ahead.

Mile 1519.2 -- Attack of the Tumbleweeds. Hi, one almost hit the Turquoise Bullet.

Mile 1523.2 -- Jon's going to Comedy Jail. I don't think I have to tell you why:

Mile 1528.7 They have a Water Store here. Because that's what you need.

Mile 1529.6 -- We see Osama Bin Laden coming out of the Oasis Cyber Cafe. We don't stop.

Mile 1535.3 -- Jon talks about sex, baby.

Mile 1540.3 -- We can't spell anything around here.

Mile 1548.7 -- As we approach Santa Fe, it begins to rain. Of course it does.

Mile 1551.9 -- We accidentally get off the freeway. Somewhere.

Mile 1552.6 -- Back on track!

Mile 1555.2 -- Our first gay sighting!

Mile 1557.9 - Luxury Inn in Santa Fe!!!

Sand in Our VaJayJays

Greetings from Taos, New Mexico! Someone at my office described Taos as being "New Agey, with a hint of Musical Theater." I'd be more likely to describe it as "closed" due to the fact that when we got here last night at 9PM, everything except the Sonic Burger was pretty much done for the night...even the Chow Cart!

Yesterday we made the long 350+ mile trip from Denver after eating breakfast with Aunt Susie. After being in the car for a long, long while, Jon and I began to starve to death. Again. As Jon pointed out to me last night, as soon as we start talking about food, we should stop. But we didn't. Instead we kept driving. And driving. Six hours after breakfast, we still hadn't eaten a real meal. We stopped in South Park and bought some Fiddle Faddle, but after losing most of it to Jon's crotch (giving their slogan "Grab a Handful of Fun" a whole new meaning) we began the long, slow descent into dementia.

We hit the Alligator farm just to spite Cowboy Wes, and had to stop ourselves from eating the reptiles, who were busy trying to eat us. Eventually, we found our way to the Lounge restaurant/gift shop right by the Great Sand Dunes in Colorado.

Bumbie's Mom! WAHHHH!!

Afterwards, we explored the Great Sand Dunes! Apparently, wind carries dust and sand here...and just leaves it, giving it the appearance of a gigantic, hilly beach with no water...which, I suppose, is essentially a desert.

Sandylicious AND Hillylicious!

As we were entering the Dune area, we saw a small child place a sled by a dumpster as he and his family went back to their car. Obviously, with no other choice, Jon picked it up so he could slide down some of the sandy hills...and, since I had a camera, I wasn't going to stop him. Once we went up a few steep hills (my fattiness, combined with the thin air at that altitude made for a slower journey than Jon would have liked, I'm sure...) Jon tried to slide down, using the sled...




...which was about as effective as naming your restaurant "Grimo's." The ensuing hilarity is captured on video and will be posted as soon as humanly possible. While there wasn't really much to do at the Dunes, other than climb hills and pass out, the photos were pretty incredible.

JonJoy and JeffTired

Hi, there's nothing here.



Afterwards, Jon and I made it to Taos and passed out after the people in the room downstairs banged on the ceiling. Apparently, we were making too much noise as we tried to blog the night away.

StupidTaos. Now, we're off to Santa Fe, where more hilarity promises to ensue. Also, I promise my next entry won't be so boring. Go read Jon's if you want something funny.

Juicy Gatorjoy!

Jeff and I were having such a wonderful time in Denver that we didn't want to leave...but we had to...because New Mexico was calling our name...or something.

Aunt Susan, Uncle Larry, Cousin Hannah, and Cousin Carrie -- Thanks again for being the best relatives ever!

So...after a lovely breakfast with Aunt Susie...Jeff and I hit the road, going south toward New Mexico. Thanks to Uncle Larry, we had a couple of places to check out along the way.

Including the Colorado Gator Farm...which was ridiculous.

All of the caution signs made me a bit uneasy...but Jeff and I had a we had to go in.

After paying some nice old lady 16 dollars, Jeff and I walked into a giant room filled with snakes and tiny baby alligators. There were also three kids between the ages of eleven and fifteen that were working the front of the room.

A father/daughter pair stood ahead of us in line.

The fifteen year old boy/Gator Farm Employee tried to get the girl to hold a baby alligator.

She wouldn't.

Her father tried to push her to at least touch it.

Screaming, whining, and psychological damage ensued.

Eventually, the father gave up.

And then, it was our turn.

I wasn't too keen on the idea of holding an alligator in my bare hands...but I wasn't going to let myself turn into a screaming twelve year old girl.

At least not this time.

So I put on my happy face on and held the alligator.

So did Jeff.

And we got certificates for our bravery...

...which were notarized by the baby alligator.

The Gator Farm also features a variety of other exotic animals, including giant snakes.

Slightly smaller snakes.

Two African Grey Parrots...

...that acted like Albert's genetically inferior nephews.

A stray kitty.

And a giant turtle that moves faster than Jeff.

Did I mention the gators?

There were a lot of them.

And they seemed a little hungry.

After checking out the gators, we walked into another barn-like structure that was filled with giant tanks of fish.

It turns out that the Gator Farm originally started out as a Tilapia farm. The owners bought a couple of gators to eat the unusable fish, but before long...people started coming out to the the middle of nowhere Colorado...just to see the gators.


The gators were very scary.

But you wanna know what is scarier?

A hungry ostrich.


I didn't care for the bird at all.

It might have been a little snappy.

And not in a good way.

The emu was a little nicer.

But only a little.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dead By Morning: A Photo Essay

Sorry there isn't a bigger post tonight. . .but Jon and I got lost in the desert, and are presumed dead.


...or we're in Taos, NM and we'll post tomorrow.

Only time will tell!