Mile 495.6 -- Jon takes the wheel. Bye Beaver! We'll miss you just a little.
Mile 508.8 -- We're now at 6600 feet. Ahhhhhh!
Mile 513.9 -- First sign for Denver!
Mile 515.8 -- We're off the 15 for the first time in a thousand miles (or 400)!
Mile 518.4 -- Hi, we're 507 miles away from Denver -- Home of the Poop-Free Pools!
Mile 520.9 -- Chapstick O'Clock. Hi, we're bored. And we still have more than 500 miles until Denver o'clock.
Mile 523.1 -- 7380 feet! It's very nice up here!
Mile 524.9 -- Giant truck nearly kills us. First official near-death experience of Carjoy (after the Jollibee incident).
Mile 534.8 -- It's very scenic!
Mile 540.0 -- Jeff becomes delusional and contemplates being a farmer to "become one with the earth," until Jon gently reminds him that he hates nature.
Mile 550.1 -- Hi...it smells like fertilizer. Someone pooped in Utah. Of course they did.
Mile 553.6 -- "End of Road Work. Thank you!"
Mile 564.6 -- Rogue pebble attacks Turquoisee Bullet at 75 mph. Bullet escapes unscathed.
Mile 572.1 -- Gas break...because the next one isn't for 110 miles, where Jeff and Jon ride a virtual roller coaster...for free!
It was still a rip-off.
Mile 575.2 -- Are we lost? We seem to be entering a National Forrest that we already entered once before...
Mile 578.3 -- Gooseberry Road! (No Services!)
We confirm that we are NOT going the wrong way, based on the fact that we would have remembered a sign for "Gooseberry."
Mile 590.6 -- Frequent Deer and Elk Crossing for the next 12 miles. Please be aware!
Mile 596.1 -- Jon sees a "Slippery When Wet Sign" and remarks "What a great name for a rock album!"
Jeff hates it here.
Mile 603.5 -- Utah smells like fertilizer for the second time. And there's a dead deer. Boo!
Mile 607.0 -- 413 miles until Denver! 67 miles to Green River!
For those of your following along at home...that means that it's only 120 miles until the Turquoise Bullet hits 100,000 miles!!!
Mile 646.2 -- Miscellaneous debris flies out of the Bullet and into Utah.
Mile 651.7 -- Jeff's hand smooshes into bugs at 80 mph. Ouch!
Mile 668.2 -- It's Noon...and suddenly it's 80,000 degrees out. The A/C is on and Jeff realizes that he is half deaf from the wind rushing pass his ears.
Mile 671.6 -- Jon says, "Everything is very expensive in Price...because it's Price-y." He is sentence to comedy jail.
He appeals...and is denied. Jeff is suddenly sad that he is only half-deaf.
Mile 676.0 -- Stoppage in Green River for another potty break.
Jeff and Jon trade places...so Jeff can be at the wheel when theTurquoisee Bullet crosses 100,000 miles.
Mile 676.1 -- Snacktime! Jeff and Syphie enjoy Fiddle Faddle on the road.
Mile 676.5 -- Bessie chokes down a pack of Mentos Sours.
Mile 679.4 -- It's official. "Someone pooped in the pool" is the best bit ever.
Mile 692.9 -- Why is there so much construction on a highway that four people drive on?
Mile 697.5 -- We're departing Route 70 for Arches National Park!
Mile 704.5 -- We're at a dead stop, everyone. More stupid road construction.
Mile 719.5 -- Where the F*CK are the stupid arches???
Mile 722.6 -- Only 6 more miles until the Turquoise Bullet explodes!
Mile 724.2 -- We're finally at the Arches National Park! Jeff and Jon both do an All in the Family bit.
Mile 729.3 -- WOooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOO! TheTurquoisee Bullet reaches 100,000 miles.
Surprisingly, it doesn't blow up.
Mile 734.3 -- "Incident at Balanced Rock" occurs.
Mile 740.2 -- WoOOooOoO! Pretty Pretty Arches!
Mile 754.0 -- Bye Arches! That was totally worth the detour! Seriously.
Mile 770.2 -- We're at a dead stop. Again.
And we have no more Fiddle Faddle to comfort us.
Mile 777.7 -- Hi...we're at 777.7!
Mile 799.6 -- For the second day in a row, Sister Ru's Yan Yan Snack Treat that she bought us a road trip gift saves us from eating each other.
Mile 805.5 -- 45 miles to Fruita! Somehow, this offends Jeff.
Mile 817.8 -- Jon is over the whole "No Services" exits on Route 70...while Jeff wonders if the bucket of Chickenjoy has magically refilled itself.
Mile 822.5 -- Exit 227! No Jackee Harry! And no services! Worst. Exit. Ever.
Mile 827.4 -- Welcome to Colorful Colorado! Fancy!
Mile 828.9 -- Exit sign for Rabbit Valley and the "Trail Through Time." Still no Services. Like Poison!
Mile 838.3 -- We're in Mack...looking for food. It doesn't look good.
Mile 839.5 -- Still in Mack. The "Pork Barrel" incident occurs. Jon announces that he is keeping Kosher until the next exit.
Mile 840.9 -- We give up the search for food in Mack. Stupid Mack. Apparently, no one in Western Colorado eats.
Mile 839.2 -- We stop in Fruita. And eat at "Starvin' Arvin's." Ofcoursewedo.
There was a dinosaur head inside the restaurant. Ofcoursetherewas.
Mile 839.3 -- Back on the road! Jon is back in the driver's seat!
Mile 853.1 -- "Extreme Fire Danger!" Apparently, they heard we were coming.
Mile 867.3 -- Hi, Rockies!
Mile 879.1 -- Dam! (Alas, no DAMBURGER.)
Mile 879.7 -- Hi...we're in the mountain! Weeeaaaaaooooo!
Mile 922.2 -- Jeff wakes up from a nap...just as we drive past a sign for Garfield city. Jon declares, "Thank God it's not Heathcliff. I hate that cat!" Jeff returns to unconsciousness.
Mile 926.7 -- "Welcome to Silt." Home of the "Kum-N-Go." We don't stop.
Mile 947.2 -- No Name!
Mile 1000.0 -- 1000 miles! 100 miles to Denver!
Mile 1001.4 -- We're in Vail! At 8150 feet!
Mile 1003.6 -- Jon gets *clack, clack* juice on the rear view mirror.
Mile 1012.5 -- Hi...my ears are popping! Ahhhh!
Mile 1013.8 -- Both iPods are officially dead. What are we going to do now? Talk???
Mile 1014.0 -- Jeff and Jon discover that all radio stations suck here. Jeff and Jon are forced to make small talk. Will they live to tell the tale?
Mile 1024.0 -- Jeff wonders why it's so cold here in the mountains, somehow reasoning they should be warmer because "they're closer to the sun. . ." Jon declares him an idiot.
Mile 1024.1 -- They try the radio again. Thank goodness for Crystal 93!
Mile 1057.2 -- Stop in Georgetown at the Visitor's Center. Jeff and Jon are verybusy for a second.
Mile 1063.4 -- Jon starts FRONTIN'! Jeff decides that he is only going to talk to Jollibee for the rest of the trip.
Mile 1090.6 -- We're in Denver! 20 minutes to Aunt Susan and Uncle Larry's house!
Mile 1104.8 -- Hi...we're here! Jon is immediately forced to call Momma Ru to confirm his arrival.