Sunday, June 25, 2006

Day One : Los Angeles, CA to Beaver, UT

Mile 0 -- Goodbye Jollibee!

Mile 0.0000000000000000000001 -- Drunk on Chickenjoy, Jeff drives over the parking block.



Could this be the end of Carjoy?

Mile 0.1 -- After some careful navigating by Jon and some spectacular stunt driving by Jeff, we're back on track!

Mile 8.8 -- Lost? Already?

Mile 9.1 -- OK. Not lost.

Mile 9.2 -- Jon declares that Jeff is one "hot mess."

Mile 43.9 -- First sign for Vegas! Waaaaaaaaooooo!

Mile 57 -- Bit goes haywire as Jon actually opens his door while the car is in motion. Oops.

Mile 57.5 -- We hit traffic.

Mile 69.3 -- Everyone is breaking down. Hopefully, Jeff's Turquoise Bullet won't follow suit.

Mile 69.5 -- Jon discovers that after being exposed to high temperatures...Sugarfree Mentos leak.



Mile 75.3 -- Billboard for "Adult Fun Zone." We don't stop.

Mile 75.5
-- Sign for "Bear Valley." Grrrrrrrr!

Mile 84.3 -- We see smoke. Jeff wonders what it is...but decides whatever it is...he is relieved that it's not his car.

Mile 128.7 -- Yan Yan Snack Time!







(brought to you by older sister ru!)

Mile 155 -- WOoooOOoooOoo! 116 Miles to Vegas!

Mile 171.1 -- We see a sign for Zzyzx Road. Jeff screams like a giant woman.

Mile 178.7 -- World's tallest thermometer claims it's 121 degrees outside.



Human Thermometer Jeff double checks by sticking his hand out the window. He agrees with the tall one.


Mile 227 -- Where's Jackee Harry?

Mile 228 -- We're in Nevada!

Mile 232.2 -- Boo! Traffic!

Mile 263.1 -- Vegas, baby!

Mile 265.4 -- We almost melt trying to get to the purple restaurant known as "Peppermill."

Mile 267.4 -- We finally arrive at the purple "Peppermill." Two miles...and 40 minutes later.



It's delicious. And ridiculous.

Mile 267.5 -- Jeff and Jon try to find "Old" Vegas.

Mile 270.2 -- Park at Neonopolis. Across the street from "Old" Vegas.

Mile 270.3 -- Back in the car, Jon declares that he hates "Old" Vegas just as much as he hates "New" Vegas.

Mile 275 -- Jeff and Jon try to find wireless internet in "North" Vegas.

Mile 277.6 -- Jeff and Jon give up the wireless search and try to make their way back to the 15.

Mile 278.2 -- After gassing up, Jon is very excited to find Coca-Cola Blak.



Ofcourseheis.

Mile 278 -- Bye "Old" Vegas! You smell like BO and cigarette smoke!

Mile 278.3 -- Back on the road, Jeff and Jon head for the mysterious land of Utah.

Mile 281.7 -- Prison Area. Hitchhiking prohibited. Hot!

Mile 283.4 -- We pass a billboard that declares that Utah is "less than a tank of gas away!" Good thing we just filled up!

Mile 306.4 -- Valley of Fire! Hot!

Mile 312.3 -- At 90 miles per hour, Jeff's side mirror refuses to stay in place...instead it decides that straight down is a much more comfortable position.

Don't worry Mama Ru!

We're slowing down.

Mile 322.3 -- We pass a sign announcing an Indian Reservation. Jeff declares that they have a "24 hour cancellation policy."

Jeff claims that the joke was for "Mandel."

Uh...that will NEVER be an excuse.

Mile 327.8 -- Jon notices that we've been jizz free for almost 7 hours. A new road trip record!

Mile 353 -- Jeff declares that East Mesquite is SO cool...because of the pretty mountains.

Pretty? Yes.

Cool? Never.

Mile 354.9 -- We're in Arizona. And it's still on fire.

Mile 357.8 -- Driving towards the smoke, Jeff declares that he is STILL relieved that it's not his car.



Mile 364 -- Arizona smells like BBQ.

Mile 366.8 -- We're driving into the mountains. Literally.

Mile 369.3 -- We're crossing the "Virgin River." Hot or not?

Mile 384.2 -- We're in Utah! Where are all of the Mormons?

Mile 391 -- Family Fun Center in Utah! Jeff wonders if they have wireless internet access.

We don't stop.

Mile 413.2 -- We pass a sign for Browse, Utah.



Jeff wants to "look around," because we're in "Browse."

Jeff tries to use the "Mandel" defense again.

It doesn't work.

Mile 421.2 -- Bessie, Syphie, and Jollibee enjoy the beauty of Utah.



Mile 428.3 -- Potty Break.

Jeff and Jon are suddenly confused and disoriented by Mountain Time.

Mile 454.5 -- Race against the clock!

We have to get to Beaver, Utah by 9:30pm...before "The Garden of Eat'n" closes.

It's 8:30pm and we still have 40 miles to go.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mile 459.6 -- Jeff freaks out over an invisible bug that has made it's way inside the car.

Jon diagnoses Jeff with DTs.

Mile 479.5 -- Beaver in 15 miles! We're gonna make it!

Mile 484.6 -- We've entered Beaver County!

Mile 495.5 -- We're in Beaver and at "The Garden of Eat'n!"



It looks amazing....but the salad bar was not.

Mile 495.51 -- We call it a night...and check in at Beaver's finest motel, "Best Western - Paradise Inn."

2 comments:

Toni said...

I don't know why the sight of those leaky mentos made me wince and immediately thing of ... (wait for it) pre-cum.

(Sorry, had to say it)

meghann said...

Ewwww. Mentos jizz.