Mile 0.0000000000000000000001 -- Drunk on Chickenjoy, Jeff drives over the parking block.
Could this be the end of Carjoy?
Mile 0.1 -- After some careful navigating by Jon and some spectacular stunt driving by Jeff, we're back on track!
Mile 8.8 -- Lost? Already?
Mile 9.1 -- OK. Not lost.
Mile 9.2 -- Jon declares that Jeff is one "hot mess."
Mile 43.9 -- First sign for Vegas! Waaaaaaaaooooo!
Mile 57 -- Bit goes haywire as Jon actually opens his door while the car is in motion. Oops.
Mile 57.5 -- We hit traffic.
Mile 69.3 -- Everyone is breaking down. Hopefully, Jeff's Turquoise Bullet won't follow suit.
Mile 69.5 -- Jon discovers that after being exposed to high temperatures...Sugarfree Mentos leak.
Mile 75.3 -- Billboard for "Adult Fun Zone." We don't stop.
Mile 75.5 -- Sign for "Bear Valley." Grrrrrrrr!
Mile 84.3 -- We see smoke. Jeff wonders what it is...but decides whatever it is...he is relieved that it's not his car.
Mile 128.7 -- Yan Yan Snack Time!
(brought to you by older sister ru!)
Mile 155 -- WOoooOOoooOoo! 116 Miles to Vegas!
Mile 171.1 -- We see a sign for Zzyzx Road. Jeff screams like a giant woman.
Mile 178.7 -- World's tallest thermometer claims it's 121 degrees outside.
Human Thermometer Jeff double checks by sticking his hand out the window. He agrees with the tall one.
Mile 227 -- Where's Jackee Harry?
Mile 228 -- We're in Nevada!
Mile 232.2 -- Boo! Traffic!
Mile 263.1 -- Vegas, baby!
Mile 265.4 -- We almost melt trying to get to the purple restaurant known as "Peppermill."
Mile 267.4 -- We finally arrive at the purple "Peppermill." Two miles...and 40 minutes later.
It's delicious. And ridiculous.
Mile 267.5 -- Jeff and Jon try to find "Old" Vegas.
Mile 270.2 -- Park at Neonopolis. Across the street from "Old" Vegas.
Mile 270.3 -- Back in the car, Jon declares that he hates "Old" Vegas just as much as he hates "New" Vegas.
Mile 275 -- Jeff and Jon try to find wireless internet in "North" Vegas.
Mile 277.6 -- Jeff and Jon give up the wireless search and try to make their way back to the 15.
Mile 278.2 -- After gassing up, Jon is very excited to find Coca-Cola Blak.
Ofcourseheis.
Mile 278 -- Bye "Old" Vegas! You smell like BO and cigarette smoke!
Mile 278.3 -- Back on the road, Jeff and Jon head for the mysterious land of Utah.
Mile 281.7 -- Prison Area. Hitchhiking prohibited. Hot!
Mile 283.4 -- We pass a billboard that declares that Utah is "less than a tank of gas away!" Good thing we just filled up!
Mile 306.4 -- Valley of Fire! Hot!
Mile 312.3 -- At 90 miles per hour, Jeff's side mirror refuses to stay in place...instead it decides that straight down is a much more comfortable position.
Don't worry Mama Ru!
We're slowing down.
Mile 322.3 -- We pass a sign announcing an Indian Reservation. Jeff declares that they have a "24 hour cancellation policy."
Jeff claims that the joke was for "Mandel."
Uh...that will NEVER be an excuse.
Mile 327.8 -- Jon notices that we've been jizz free for almost 7 hours. A new road trip record!
Mile 353 -- Jeff declares that East Mesquite is SO cool...because of the pretty mountains.
Pretty? Yes.
Cool? Never.
Mile 354.9 -- We're in Arizona. And it's still on fire.
Mile 357.8 -- Driving towards the smoke, Jeff declares that he is STILL relieved that it's not his car.
Mile 364 -- Arizona smells like BBQ.
Mile 366.8 -- We're driving into the mountains. Literally.
Mile 369.3 -- We're crossing the "Virgin River." Hot or not?
Mile 384.2 -- We're in Utah! Where are all of the Mormons?
Mile 391 -- Family Fun Center in Utah! Jeff wonders if they have wireless internet access.
We don't stop.
Mile 413.2 -- We pass a sign for Browse, Utah.
Jeff wants to "look around," because we're in "Browse."
Jeff tries to use the "Mandel" defense again.
It doesn't work.
Mile 421.2 -- Bessie, Syphie, and Jollibee enjoy the beauty of Utah.
Mile 428.3 -- Potty Break.
Jeff and Jon are suddenly confused and disoriented by Mountain Time.
Mile 454.5 -- Race against the clock!
We have to get to Beaver, Utah by 9:30pm...before "The Garden of Eat'n" closes.
It's 8:30pm and we still have 40 miles to go.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mile 459.6 -- Jeff freaks out over an invisible bug that has made it's way inside the car.
Jon diagnoses Jeff with DTs.
Mile 479.5 -- Beaver in 15 miles! We're gonna make it!
Mile 484.6 -- We've entered Beaver County!
Mile 495.5 -- We're in Beaver and at "The Garden of Eat'n!"
It looks amazing....but the salad bar was not.
Mile 495.51 -- We call it a night...and check in at Beaver's finest motel, "Best Western - Paradise Inn."
2 comments:
I don't know why the sight of those leaky mentos made me wince and immediately thing of ... (wait for it) pre-cum.
(Sorry, had to say it)
Ewwww. Mentos jizz.
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